Relevant in Every Season
Relevant in Every Season by Tiffany Ward
“Mom, look at me! Watch this handstand!! Oh, and this cartwheel!!” says my daughter as she enthusiastically demonstrates her skills to me tumbling across my bedroom floor. I found I had more than enough energy to watch her as she becomes more confident in her body. I noticed right away how delighted she was with herself and her abilities and she wanted to share her success with me. As I focused all of my attention on her, it wasn’t long before I cheered her on delighting in her, and with her. She is easy to love with her sweet little heart-shaped face, soft brown freckles, sparkling blue eyes, and her musical laugh which fills up a whole room with warmth and light.
Children are precious and grow so quickly. I witnessed this first hand after the back to school frenzy. Summer has come and gone and both of my children have changed. My son has grown quite a few inches and that’s not the only thing that has changed about him, he has matured. He is in the sixth grade now. He kindly helped me get his sister and all her back to school things in her classroom with her sweet teachers. Then we walked over to his classrooms, dropping his books, which he labeled himself, onto classroom shelves. He will be in and out of these doorways over the next two semesters. As we walked down to the main hall where his friends and upperclassmen were assembled, I did the one thing I have done since he came into this world especially when I left him in someone else’s care for the first time. I kissed him goodbye right on his cheek. Right there in front of all of his friends. I saw his face and the expression only a mother intimately knows. Oops! I quickly said, “Oh no, I am not supposed to kiss you in front of all of your friends, am I?” And then because I don’t always discern when I shouldn’t speak and save it for later, I proceeded to say, “I am so sorry if I embarrassed you son, I love you goodbye!” This all following my smile for the camera with all of your friends for me moment. He may have put his hoodie up if it hadn’t been too obvious he was feeling any kind of way. Thankfully, he was wearing his favorite ball cap, which allowed him to hide a bit better from my expressed affections. I left him right there. And off I went. And yes, I am the mom who both delights in back to school moments of being free of the responsibility to care and to watch over my children. I am also the momma who makes room in her day to cry, to let go of what has been and embrace what is.
Later, after pick up I got to hear fun stories of the day. Tuck in time came quickly and my son said, “Mom, after your shower, I need to talk to you.” I knew it was important by the intention in his voice and the look on his face. As I traveled up the stairs to his room and crawled up into his bed. He greeted me with love and affection. He said, “Mom, I love you but you cannot kiss me in front of my friends!” And just like that, my little Peter-Pan-like boy, grew up.
Thankfully, my spouse knew how to comfort the mother in me that felt just a little less relevant to someone I love so deeply. He also knew how to coach the son he is raising to become a man. His effort to teach our son that embarrassment is really a state of mind that is focused on an idea of normal rather than a long lasting feeling might have been lost on our son. It was not lost on me. Maturation has many stages. Embarrassment is temporary. Love is forever!
I think there is a time in every person’s life where they question their own feelings, thoughts, and desires. The question is often related to relevance. Do I like this, do I want this, do I matter? Does what I have to say matter? Does what I have to give to others still feel relevant to them?
Later, as I got ready to sleep, my thoughts video-log in mind as they usually do. I thought about my own relevance. How each stage of my life has had changes that haven’t always felt relevant to me. In relation to time, How did I get here? Is it really wrapped up in age, in youthfulness versus the aged. The Bible has a verse in 1 Timothy 4:12 that says, Don’t let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. This verse means a lot to me, although I have gotten trapped in pleasing others due to my age and lack of experience. The Lord has grown me to have more empathy towards others and where they might be coming from. Considering a person as a whole, their family, their story, and even understanding their broken patterns that might have negatively impacted my own life. As I drifted off to sleep, I wasn’t asleep long before I heard a rustling in my room… you know what that precious Peter- Pan-like-boy of mine did? He snuck into my room and he had snuggled into the small cream-colored, old leather loveseat in our bedroom. I smiled in the dark. Knowing in my heart nearness to the ones we love is always relevant. My heart churned with love and compassion toward him, knowing how hard it is to start something new. I quietly turned on the bedside lamp and I asked him, “Son, are you ok?” He smiled at me and I said, “Would you like to sleep the rest of the night between me and daddy?” He warmly said, “Yes.” He crawled into our bed at midnight and lay down between us like he did when he was an infant. Safe and sound. Growing up is hard. Being human, we do seek comfort and assurance often. That is always relevant. Our proximity to God, that is a choice we make.
To God we are relevant. 1 John 3:1-3 says, See what kind of love the father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are…beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared. But we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. For me, HE is the ultimate authority and HIS voice of truth in my life is relevant for my daily living. I am a child of God.
Prayer:
Lord, I thank you for making me. You cherish and love me with an everlasting and unbreakable love. Your voice matters to me. Let the light of your love shine bright and light up every space of my mind, body, and soul.
My need for you is great. The desperation in myself is evident to me everyday. I am thankful to you for taking all of my burdens and loving me through a sacrifice named Jesus. Understanding this gift of life and love is not something I could ever buy, earn, or prove I’m worthy of. This gift is a powerful force to be received. Death so I could live, it’s not just for me but for those whom I love and also for those I have struggled to love at all. True joy and peace can abound in my life and the lives of those who are fully known and loved by you. For those who say, I surrender all, knowing Jesus paid it all. Your precious presence is more powerful than I could have hope to experience or ever imagined. I am glad for the comfort I find in you my sweet Jesus. Amen.
—Be Treasured